Before I became a practising speech pathologist, I thought my job was to work directly with kids, and for me to ‘fix’ them.
But after a couple of years I started noticing something. The situations where I saw the biggest improvements were the ones where I had a real chance to train the parent. I realised that parents are the biggest catalyst for change. They are the most important teacher in their child’s life.
So instead of focusing on the child in sessions, I started putting my attention on the parent, coaching them with simple techniques built on three things: acting early, playing the right way, and focusing on the right words.
After only one or two sessions, most parents of late talkers were able to prompt their child to attempt or say their first word, after months of just hearing grunts and whines at home.
These are the same three fundamentals I taught them.
Fundamental 1: Acting early
In nearly 20 years as a paediatric speech pathologist, I’ve lost count of how many parents have told me their family, friends or doctor said not to worry, their little one will catch up. Just wait and see.
Then they ended up in my clinic a year later. That’s a year we can’t get back.
If only I’d had the opportunity to teach them these few things, they wouldn’t have needed to come to the clinic at all.
Your child’s brain will never be more ready to change than it is right now, and the longer we leave it, the wider the gap grows between them and children their age. Research shows up to 50% of late talkers don’t catch up on their own, and you won’t know whether that’s your child until afterwards.
Acting early gives your child:
- A better chance to catch up well before school starts
- Stronger skills in storytelling, reading, writing and making friends, not just talking
- Less need for ongoing therapy later on
The best time to start is now, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to do it.
Fundamental 2: Play the right way
Helping your toddler talk doesn’t mean hours on the floor or setting up elaborate activities. It means weaving a few simple things into the time you’re already spending together. The five minutes before dinner counts.
So think:
- Get down to your child’s level, face to face
- Follow their lead, copy what they’re doing, then add something playful
- Comment more, ask fewer questions
- Give them a reason to talk, by withholding something they want and then letting them struggle for a beat before you jump in
These do two things. First, they help you connect with your child, so they’re more primed to learn from you. Second, they create an environment where your child is more motivated to communicate, learn and say new words.
The snack container
Pick something your child really wants. A favourite snack works best. Put it in a clear container they can’t open on their own, hand it to them, and then wait. Don’t rush in. That pause is the reason to talk. If they make any audible attempt to request you open the container (even if it’s just a grunt), label the attempt out loud as “open” or “help”, like you’re approving that they said open or help. As you repeat the task, gradually demand more clarity from them before giving them what they want.
This is one of the exercises I walk through in my free Late Talker Masterclass. Watch it here.
Fundamental 3: Focus on the right words
This one is probably the most transformative.
Most of us focus on naming things. Colours, shapes, animals, the objects in the room. It’s what we can see, point to and touch, and it’s what the books and flashcards teach. So if you’ve been pointing at the picture of the dog and saying “dog” over and over, you’re doing exactly what you were told to do.
But what kids learning to talk need most are functional words. Words that let them express their needs and their ideas across many situations, not just when one particular object happens to be in their hand.
So think about words that are:
- Doing words — sit, go, give, pass, turn, cut, climb, jump, put, do, make
- Location words — up, on, in, under, around, behind, next to
- Requesting — help, more, want, need
- Commenting and instructing — have, I, me, you
I call these words Power Words. They don’t just allow functional communication across many situations, they also build towards short phrases later on.
If you want me to show you exactly which words to focus on and exactly how to use them in everyday activities, come to my free masterclass.
Watch the free masterclassFree. On demand. Watch it in one sitting or three.
So that’s it, the three fundamentals. I’m confident that if you master these three, it won’t be long before your little one is talking more at home.
I totally understand it can feel a little overwhelming, especially just reading the words without much context. If you want me to take you through all of this in a bit more detail, I really would recommend joining my masterclass, which is free and can be watched anytime.
Remember, your instincts are worth trusting. They got you here, after all. Your child’s brain will never be more ready to change than it is right now, and you’re absolutely the best person to do something about it.
All the best,
Saffira